“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

Please share these notes with anyone who you think is ‘ready’ to hear it or is curious about Relational Discipleship (home groups). Remember to communicate to others that “small groups are the new constant while other things around them may fluctuate before they settle”. We want people to be attracted to us naturally from the results of real discipleship rather than promote the unknown.

  • As Shepherd-Leaders (whatever you decide to call it) we need to ‘catch’ the VISION so that we can SHARE the vision with others about what it looks like to share life together. Christian shepherds are really just ‘people taking care of people’.


  • In our first attempt at Relational Discipleship (groups) we tried ORALITY. Putting methodologies aside, though, our goal is to create relational environments where growth through discipleship can happen through love, encouragement etc.


  • Being a group leader is not about TEACHING, it is more about helping others to LEARN how to focus more of our lives on Jesus (That’s Discipleship!). Think of the ‘leadership’ role more as service, or servant-hood; like Jesus washing the feet of His Disciples.


  • The Great Commission is not just ‘leading’ someone to Christ and ONLY going to church with them on Sunday. Discipleship means you never stop learning and loving each other more. There is no ‘program’ that can do that. And there’s a reason that the word RELATIONAL comes before DISCIPLESHIP. We need to do this with people that makes us feel comfortable and safe. We aren’t designed to live this life in a vacuum. Without ‘small groups’ there is no accountability. Being honest about yourself allows others to be honest WITH you. Transparency is scary and SACRED. We are responsible as leaders to cultivate TRUST that leads to transparency and PROTECT what results from that transparency (information shared by others).



Some things we agreed upon regarding the next attempt at Sermon-Based Relational Discipleship Groups.


  • People have 2-3 weeks to decide if they want to stay in the group
  • Sermon cycles are 10 weeks long (small groups are based on sermon cycles)
  • 4 times a year (quarterly) we have another “RAMP-UP” on Relational Discipleship to share small group testimonies and get people connected



Actual Tasks before 2nd meeting:


  • Determine when leaders will be available to lead a group
  • Define the multiple ways we will connect people to groups
  • Define how we will develop new leaders and be ready when God bring them to us
  • Remember some basic guidelines when leading conversations:


  1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Please limit your sharing to 3-5 minutes.
  2. Cross talk is when 2 individuals engage in dialogue, excluding all others. This is distracting.
  3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to “fix” another person.
  4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group!
  5. Offensive language or alchohol has no place in a Christ-centered group. We should never exercise our freedoms where they could cause another to stumble.
  6. Small Groups are not an arena for deep theological discussions (unless the group is gathering for that purpose).



Author: emartinie

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